PTSD

Tang Feiliu had been troubled lately. The lake scenery was exceptionally beautiful. After enjoying the benefits of cleanliness, the gentlemen began building and maintaining their own dwellings. The long winter had passed completely, spring breezes gave way to warm summer winds. The ladies swapped their velvet gowns for breathable lace, replacing somber velvets with bright, vibrant hues. Lush green grass spread everywhere, apple trees blossomed, grapevines grew lush and green, and early peaches began to show hints of pink on the branches...

All was beautiful and vibrant, especially this year's wheat. Where compost had been applied, the ears filled plumply. As harvest approached, everyone gazed upon the heavy heads of grain, their faces glowing with anticipation.

This year promises a bountiful harvest. History unfolds thus: when all toil blindly in the fields, perhaps feeling weary and hopeless, relying only on prayers to the heavens—yet a single breakthrough often signifies greater hope for survival, heralding a new chapter for all.

Meanwhile, the Black Swan City cement plant had been completed swiftly. In truth, once the cement road linked Black Swan City to York, wealthy merchants immediately sensed immense business opportunities—this was the site of the Duke's castle. Though Black Swan Castle had once seemed abandoned, the current duke was determined to reside here. With the cement plant operational, construction across Black Swan City was now in full swing. Merchants, ever the sharpest, swarmed like hyenas sensing blood.

Logically speaking, the entire Swan City had already taken shape. This year, the decree granting freedom to the first batch of serfs was finally confirmed—upon completion, they only needed to fulfill assigned tasks, such as harvesting crops or laboring on the city walls... Tang Feiliu hadn't been involved in the detailed plans and didn't know the specifics. He vaguely understood these regulations weren't overly lenient, but they certainly weren't harsh either.

Through Tang Feiliu's recollections and narration, the Duke had grasped that slaves constituted a vital productive force and a source of wealth for urban expansion. Yet Edward did not elaborate on his own plans with Tang Feiliu. In truth, Tang Feiliu was gradually shifting from his initial role as an executor to one more specialized, increasingly resembling that of a pure administrator.

Or rather, he was taking on a more singular role—which was one reason Tang Feiliu had been feeling somewhat troubled lately.

After finishing the glass of red wine with the Chinese meal and acting on impulse, Tang Feiliu did not get what he had hoped for—an intimate encounter with the Duke. The Duke, however, was delighted and decided to fatten Tang Feiliu up quickly.

After the initial rush subsided, Tang Feiliu found himself in complete agreement. Once the wine-induced blood rush to his head faded, he suddenly realized that in this era, without any medical aids, if he had recklessly engaged with the duke and then developed a high fever, he might well have died from the pleasure... which would have been utterly embarrassing on a global scale.

Thus, after the fact, Tang Feiliu's fear of the Duke gradually faded. Deep down, he remained profoundly grateful for Edward's restraint. The problem was, after confessing his feelings, Tang Feiliu gradually realized that beneath that layer of gentle restraint, Edward seemed to harbor a rather significant issue.

It was as if two people coexisted within Edward.

This wasn't a literal second Edward or a split personality. Rather, while outwardly a formidable noble, Tang Feiliu sensed Edward suffered from PTSD—post-traumatic stress disorder.

Tang Feiliu hadn't studied this field extensively. He'd taken psychology courses in college, but he hadn't paid much attention. Back then, everyone chose the class because it was relatively easy. The professor mostly discussed case studies, which were quite interesting. His dorm mates took it to impress girls later on, while Tang Feiliu had been dragged along to group activities. He was actually more interested in cookbooks.

Yet precisely because of those classes, though half-hearted, Tang Feiliu developed a keener sensitivity to such matters than most. He realized Edward’s twisted childhood wasn’t merely a trivial footnote to his rise as a powerful duke, as outsiders assumed. In truth, deep within Edward’s psyche, the memories of abandonment and imprisonment likely never truly faded.

Worse still, Tang Feiliu began to understand why Edward had shown such intense interest in him from their first meeting. It wasn't merely because the duke might be innately not straight; there was another significant reason. During his confinement, Edward himself seemed to have developed a twisted fascination with fair-haired, blue-eyed, and sacred things.

Of course, this didn't shake Tang Feiliu's affection for Edward. Regardless of the reasons, Edward wasn't one to judge solely by appearances. Their connection flowed naturally, and Tang Feiliu had no doubt about the slowly blossoming bond between them. Moreover, Edward's restraint in everything he did astonished Tang Feiliu.

In truth, given the trauma Edward had endured, his remarkable self-control suggested that had he grown up in a better environment, he might have become an utterly captivating presence.

But that might never have happened had Tang Feiliu not arrived. The entire castle would likely have been filled with the young duke's children.

Tang Feiliu understood this all too well. When he embraced the duke with trembling hands, he had already prepared himself. Yet what troubled and moved him was that the duke's post-traumatic stress, which had seemed well-controlled before, now erupted like a sudden flood after forming an intimate bond with Tang Feiliu— —Clinginess, excessive unease, anxiety. Tang Feiliu also noticed the duke began suffering from night after night of insomnia.

Tang Feiliu noticed this because Edward's anxiety had become truly severe. At first, she only noticed the dark circles under his eyes growing increasingly pronounced. and the man whose facial features were already uninviting now appeared deathly pale beneath those dark circles. His vampire-like aura had evolved into something terrifyingly princely. Ivana and the servants dared not approach him. When Edward approached Tang Feiliu in the morning light to give him a good morning kiss, Tang Feiliu was suddenly overcome by the illusion that he was being sucked dry by a vampire.

Despite Tang Feiliu's urging that Edward rest his head on his lap for a nap each noon, the dark circles beneath Edward's eyes only deepened. Tang Feiliu had no idea what was wrong. In fact, he believed they were deeply in love, even planning outings and dates—after all, wheat harvest season was approaching, and Tang Feiliu would soon be consumed by new projects. He desperately wanted to create happy memories with his boyfriend before the busyness took over.

The problem was, Tang Feiliu realized that after two lifetimes of searching, he'd finally found a boyfriend whose confession sounded like a psychotic threat. And after confirming their relationship, Edward behaved like a brooding, emotionless shell during intimate moments.

If not for the deep infatuation he saw in Edward's eyes when he looked at him, Tang Feiliu might have even wondered if Edward regretted their relationship.

Fortunately, by the time this strange phenomenon had persisted for a week, Tang Feiliu finally figured out what had happened to her Duke—

It all began with candlelight.

Tang Feiliu was a heavy sleeper—the kind who wouldn't stir at ordinary noises once he was out cold. But that afternoon in the garden, he'd dozed off in the sun. Edward, indulgent as ever, didn't wake him. Instead, he carried him back to the manor and laid him on the bed. And so, on that bright sunny afternoon, Tang Feiliu slept sweetly and soundly on the long sofa in Edward's study.

When Tang Feiliu awoke, Edward had already finished all his accumulated tasks, and it was time for dinner.

That night, Tang Feiliu naturally found it hard to sleep soundly. After dinner, he fidgeted and tossed about until Edward entered with a candlestick to check on him, only then pretending to fall asleep.

Then, as Tang Feiliu dozed off, just as he was drifting into a hazy state, he suddenly heard the sound of the bedroom door opening. Opening his eyes, he saw Edward approaching from the bedroom holding the candlestick. Tang Feiliu, not knowing what to think, closed his eyes again and pretended to be asleep. He felt Edward holding the candlestick and watching him for a moment before drifting back.

Tang Feiliu breathed a sigh of relief. Glancing outside the bed curtains, he saw the huge full moon hanging in the sky—clearly, it was midnight. He assumed Edward was just making his routine rounds until the fifth time the candlestick appeared in his room. Only then did Tang Feiliu realize something was terribly wrong.

"Edward!" The fifth flash of candlelight struck his face, banishing the returning drowsiness. Tang Feiliu couldn't help but roll over and sit up, rubbing his tousled golden hair as he exclaimed, "You know what? I've never understood why nobles—whether in castles or manors—always sleep apart from their lovers?!"

Caught red-handed, Edward jumped in surprise. He crouched down, trying to formulate an explanation for his rather peculiar behavior, when Tang Feiliu’s outburst threw him off track.

Tang Feiliu rolled over and climbed out of bed. Dressed in pure white silk pajamas, his legs dangled over the edge of the bed, the lace on his pumpkin pants curling up at his calves. He rubbed his eyes, yawned, then reached out his hands to Edward, mumbling sleepily, "If you can only sleep if I'm with you, then carry me over." "

Edward paused briefly before swiftly scooping the little guy off the bed with one arm. Holding the candlestick in his right hand, he returned to the master bedroom.

"Good night, Edward." Tang Feiliu was placed onto Edward's bed in a daze. He rolled into the covers, nuzzling the pillow. Edward's scent brought him comfort, and the restless sleepiness that had lingered slowly gave way to a deep calm. He murmured to Edward in his half-awake state before being completely enveloped by Edward's presence.

Edward embraced him, cradling Tang Feiliu entirely within his arms. He looked fragile and petite, yet he was perfectly still. Once held, he nestled against Edward's chest and fell completely asleep.

Feeling the absolute trust placed in him, the tension and anxiety on Edward's face slowly eased. He gazed at Tang Feiliu's rosy cheeks, kissed his tender cheek, then closed his own eyes. Before long, his breathing steadied.

Tang Feiliu, however, suddenly half-opened his eyes and murmured softly, "You're such a handful."

Then, he shifted slightly, finding a more comfortable position, and this time truly closed his eyes.

Outside, a full moon shone, reflecting off the rippling blue lake. High mountains stood tall, and apple blossoms bloomed quietly. Beasts and birds rested in the darkness...

Sleeping in the arms of the one you love—whether they are poor or rich, whether they are flawed or whole—is a beautiful time worth cherishing.

No matter what tomorrow may bring, people would always be grateful for nights as beautiful as this one.