Edward felt the entire journey back was a sweet torment.
His little angel remained utterly oblivious to his feelings, trusting him completely. Young Lance, having eaten the cook’s homemade cookies, nonchalantly offered one to him with a smile. "Your Grace, would you like to try one? Auntie Lai Li made them wonderfully this time—sweet without being cloying. Delicious!"
Edward took a bite from the open end. The sweetness warmed him from throat to stomach. As the carriage jolted, Lance even asked Edward to hold him, saying it eased the nausea-inducing dizziness.
...Truthfully, they often did this. But Tang Feiliu had never thought much of it before. At sixteen in the modern world, he was still just a child. His body was too weak, and the carriage's motion made him nauseous. So Jace had once let him lie down and held his head... Tang Feiliu always reminded himself that this era was full of straight men, so he never read too much into it.
But today was different. Perhaps it was the exceptionally beautiful spring day, or maybe it was the unmistakably direct look in Edward’s eyes when caught off guard... In any case, Tang Feiliu began to seriously reflect and realized that from the very beginning, the Duke’s attitude toward him had been far too kind.
Edward wasn't a modern man. He'd grown up in this cold, harsh era, spending his entire childhood and adolescence confined within tower walls. Logically, any child kept indoors without activity for so long would inevitably develop depression, mania, or other psychological issues. Though Edward appeared fierce, his scars clearly marked him as no saint, he was actually more peaceful than most nobles... Yet perhaps like the fiercest large carnivores who often seemed lazy in daily life, Edward might simply bury his twisted side deep, waiting for the moment to strike with a single, lethal blow.
Tang Feiliu pondered deeply, but after making his request, he observed Edward's unwavering composure as he held him securely. This made him suspect the man might be straight—though Edward's gaze did carry a hint of carnal desire, perhaps Tang was reading too much into it.
After nurturing this body for a year or two, it had grown healthier, yet the innate deficiencies remained stubbornly resistant to repair. Tang Feiliu had tested the waters several times, but now, exhausted, he lay drowsy in Edward's embrace, no longer stirring trouble.
Then, as he drifted deeper into drowsiness, his body swayed slightly, rubbing against the human cushion below him—His Grace the Duke. Tang Feiliu suddenly felt something growing hotter and harder beneath him, making his butt tingle. Heaven knows, feeding the biscuit, pressing his face against the chest muscles, and the reverse embrace had all been tests. But this time, Tang Feiliu was genuinely dazed and confused. He groggily reached out, feeling the uncomfortable pressure, pressing down slightly, and asked blankly, "What is it? It feels so uncomfortable..."
All composure vanished from Duke Edward's face. He drew a deep breath, and in that instant, Tang Feiliu understood exactly what it was... His dizziness and drowsiness vanished instantly! Tang Feiliu's eyes widened in embarrassment as he looked up at Duke Edward.
"Lance, that... You're still young," Edward said, mistaking Tang Feiliu's shock for bewilderment and surprise. Holding Little Lance, he patted his back as if soothing a child, murmuring softly, "It's alright. We'll be at Black Swan Castle soon. Rest once we're back. In a couple of days, I'll take you out for a walk in the countryside. Didn't you want to stay at the estate for a while?"
This clumsy attempt to divert attention was utterly pathetic! Tang Feiliu watched the Duke gritting his teeth in restraint. Honestly, this man's self-control was undeniably magnetic. Sitting on his lap, nestled in his embrace, Tang Feiliu felt as if he might drown in the overwhelming surge of hormones, suffocating under its intensity. Tang Feiliu desperately wanted to tease him further, to push this man to the brink—for this combination of raging hormones and ascetic restraint, this man straining against desire until his muscles tensed... was utterly irresistible.
But though her heart pounded like it might leap from her chest, Tang Feiliu dared not truly push him to the brink. She could sense the tension coiled beneath his restraint... Honestly, the size difference between her and the Duke... was a bit significant. Though sixteen now, young Lance's growth had been stunted—first by picky eating habits, then financial constraints. Only after Tang Feiliu took charge did he receive proper nourishment. Still under five feet seven inches tall, Tang Feiliu dared not provoke this man towering over six feet, built like a bear.
Moreover... Tang Feiliu couldn't be certain. Though the saying went, "There are three things in the world that cannot be concealed—poverty, a cough, and love," he remained unsure whether the Duke of Edward truly harbored feelings for him or was simply bisexual. After all, he had attended balls at the palace, and perhaps the Duchess had already caught his eye.
Tang Feiliu suddenly grew melancholy. He obediently nestled back into Edward’s embrace and replied listlessly, "Mm."
"What's wrong? You sound unhappy?" Edward, oblivious to the complex turmoil within him, held the sweet-smelling little pastry. Seeing the boy's face shift from eager excitement to listlessness, he grew anxious. "What's the matter, Lance?"
"...I get motion sickness." Tang Feiliu burrowed deeper into Edward's embrace, resting his head against the man's chest. He thought... This won't do. The biggest taboo in this circle is getting involved with colleagues. This will only cause trouble later.
Tang Feiliu ordered his racing heart to slow down, resorting to shamelessly recalling Mr. Allen's striking beauty to steady himself. They remained silent for a long while before finally arriving back at Swan Castle.
Upon returning to the castle, the palpable tension and sultry heat from the carriage seemed to vanish. A chilly spring breeze blew, and just as Tang Feiliu was still unsure what to do, a piercing, feral howl suddenly pierced the air.
Tang Feiliu's eyes widened as Edward lifted him from the carriage. Before his feet touched the ground, he craned his neck curiously: "What is it? What is it?!"
Edward chuckled inwardly, tempted to carry him right over to investigate. But remembering the consequences of such an impulse, his expression darkened slightly as he gently set the little one down. Instantly, the child slipped from his arms without a backward glance, darting toward a group of knights transporting game.
From afar, Tang Feiliu waved at Lance. As he ran closer, he saw the group carrying numerous hunted animals. Tang Feiliu stared in utter shock—there was even a struggling wild boar!
"... Did you go hunting?" Tang Feiliu excitedly scanned the haul, searching for something tasty—though he never ate game back in the modern world, here domesticated pigs were practically wild boars. The plump white pigs of the modern era hadn't appeared yet, and ancient European pigs were even scrawlier than their Asian counterparts. Asian pigs could grow to seventy or eighty pounds, but these ancient European ones seemed capped at thirty or forty pounds.
It all came down to breed differences. Tang Feiliu adored braised pork with potatoes, but not only were plump white pigs nowhere to be found, potatoes were scarce too.
Still, he eagerly followed the group to the kitchen. All kinds of meat were available now—even venison. Deer meat was similar to beef but had a more delicate texture. Thinking of this, Tang Feiliu's mouth watered. As soon as he entered the kitchen, Aunt Lai Li greeted him warmly, smiling as she asked, "Mr. Lance, what delicious new dish would you like to make today?"
"I'd love some braised pig's trotters..." Tang Feiliu imagined the tender, melt-in-your-mouth dish, his mouth watering as he spoke.
"Pig trotters...! That's something nobody eats!" Aunt Lai Li exclaimed in surprise. Tang Feiliu's eyes widened. "Huh?!"
"They're the feet that tread the earth—filthy." A familiar voice suddenly echoed from behind. Everyone in the kitchen crouched in reverence. Tang Feiliu turned in shock, gazing up at the figure who had abruptly materialized behind him. "Your Grace, what brings you here?!"
Nobles were not supposed to enter such filthy places; it was beneath their station. Yet Lord Edward seemed utterly oblivious, standing there as he replied to Tang Feiliu, "I may go anywhere within the castle... Little Lance, why have you developed an interest in such unclean things?"
"...So none of you eat pig's trotters?" Tang Feiliu noticed the kitchen staff still crouched in their bows, refusing to rise. She immediately began pushing Edward toward the exit. "Your Grace, you mustn't stay here! Everyone feels uncomfortable with you present!"
Edward obediently let himself be guided out by those feeble hands, murmuring to Tang Feiliu as they walked: "...They're usually discarded. The Temple declares such things unclean and impure, unfit for consumption. Those who eat them become tainted, corrupted."
...Tang Feiliu was truly beginning to be impressed by this Holy Temple. They blamed bathing for failing to cure plagues; they made people discard offal and pig trotters because they deemed them unclean... No wonder your numbers are so few! With resources already so scarce, you still pick and choose what to eat! How delightful for you!
No wonder the less picky Asians of the same era developed armies of a hundred thousand to clash, while you lot are still dueling with a few hundred knights... Tang Feiliu looked at Edward with pity and said, "How tragic! So you've never tasted stir-fried pork intestines, braised pig's trotters, or sautéed pork liver?! Wait... you haven't even tried stewed pig lung hotpot?!"
Seeing Edward's utterly bewildered expression, Tang Feiliu lost all patience. Slamming his hand on the table, he declared, "Enough! I'll cook it myself today and make you realize how much deliciousness you've wasted!"
With that, Tang Feiliu turned and headed into the kitchen. Shortly after, Edward received a message delivered by a swift horse. He studied it for a long moment before suddenly pressing the call bell. When Ivans entered, he said, "...Clear out the room next to mine. It's for young Lance."
"As you wish, my lord." Ivanis said nothing, bowing quietly before leaving the room.
After making this decision, Edward gazed out the window at the fading sunlight. Reclining in his chair, he watched the world outside and murmured softly, "Dave, you know, back in the palace, I saw many beauties."
"Any beauty honored by your favor would feel profoundly privileged," Dave replied respectfully from behind the door.
"...But it's impossible." Edward delivered the news calmly, as if it were a thunderclap. He continued, "No matter how lovely the maiden or how captivating the lady... none of them work for me. I feel nothing toward them."
Dave was perhaps too stunned to respond for a long moment. Edward murmured, "...Just as the temple foretold, I am a demon. Unfit for this world, I am destined to bear no offspring."
Yes, this was one reason Edward had returned in such disarray. He had tried to walk the righteous path, to avoid defiling that child who shone like the Son of God. He had striven with all his piety, yet in the end, his efforts had been in vain.
He was unwelcome in this world. He was the son of a demon, lurking in the shadows, unable to look upon the mundane world. Instead, he had set his sights on God's favorite child.
He yearned so desperately to defile that child, to stain his radiance with darkness, to witness his tears and helplessness. Yet while he remained untouched by all those beauties, every night when he dreamed of the child's sapphire eyes, his entire being would tense, and in his dreams he would desecrate him again and again... Yet the child was so small, so innocent. He couldn't possibly understand the depraved thoughts that surged within the arms holding him during the day, cradling his soft, fragrant body as the carriage rolled along.
"I... I know I shouldn't be doing this. It's just for a little while..." Edward murmured softly. "...I received a letter today. Wright is coming soon... You know him. I need to keep little Lance under my watchful eye."
"My lord..." Dave murmured softly before falling silent. He whispered, "I obey your will, my lord."
After stepping outside, Dave stood dazed for a long while. He sighed deeply and murmured, "Johanna... bless your son."
He bowed his head and hurried away, a glistening tear in the corner of his eye.
Author's Note:
Edward: My angel, he understands nothing...
Tang Feiliu: ...Your Grace, you're overthinking this. I've got a terabyte of torrents on my computer—I know far more than you imagine, hehehehe...